Make It Stop

Would somebody in charge of those mall advertising displays please turn those stupid things down? Is it really necessary to BLAST the volume to almost ear-piercing decibel levels to garner the attention of passersby? If so, I really hope the operators of these network screens don't think that it's positive attention that they'll be getting. All super loud ads do is annoy people and make them ask themselves why on earth their ears are being assaulted by these things. A while back I didn't even notice these displays, but now it's hard not to--and that's not a good thing.

A month or so ago at North Point Mall in Alpharetta, Ga., I was browsing a kiosk selling sunglasses (hey why pay $250 for Prada when you can get a similar pair for $10?), when my shopping buddy and I simultaneously turned to each other and started laughing about how loud an advertising screen/kiosk near the elevator was. It's deluge of noise came almost out of nowhere, as if the evil device was watching us shopping, and taking note that we never so much as glanced its way. "Hey look at me! Look at me!" came in the form of an obnoxious, cheesy song played at absurd volumes. I thought perhaps since the stand was near an atrium it might have made it sound louder than it really was. But still, we felt bad for the kiosk attendant who had to sit there and listen to it all day.

The last straw came a few weeks ago, when I had an even more unpleasant encounter with another one of these things. I was at Cumberland Mall in Atlanta and decided to grab a quick bite to eat in the food court. The seating was sparse, but I noticed a large chunk of empty seats near the perimeter of the food court and snagged a spot. Within a few seconds it became evident why there was so much seating left open--an advertising display was just 10 ft. away, playing an irritating jingle that looped every 20 seconds or so. And, it was being played at an eardrum-shattering volume. At one point I came very close to spinning around in my chair and hurtling my food at its screen. "Take that!" I'd scream in victory, and the surrounding diners would clap in a thunderous standing ovation as sesame chicken slowly dripped down its screen. (Maybe if we were lucky, it would short circuit too.) But instead I glared at the stand, trying to will it to disappear in a puff of smoke, or at least for someone to walk by and kick a hole through it. Why did it have to be so LOUD?

Do retailers really want to be a part of these displays, advertising their sales with deafening ads? If the ads are too quiet, then they'll be tuned out; if they're too loud, they'll annoy people. Which is worse? To any marketing exec who boasts that there's no such thing as bad publicity, think again. There most definitely is. And if you don't believe me, well then I hope you like sesame chicken...

--Jessie Bove