Move Over Maury
Move over Maury Povich, because here comes Rite Aid! That's right, I said Maury Povich, as in "The Maury Show"--a daytime talkshow infamous for its paternity test results shows (don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, especially if you've recently been home sick "watching" afternoon TV as you drift in and out of a cold medicine haze). Well Maury is about to lose a boatload of guests--who are all going to be headed to an aisle in their local Rite Aid drugstore instead of on stage and on camera. According to a press release from DNA-tester Identigene, Rite Aid started carrying its paternity test kits on March 25. Oh, and apparently Meijer will offer them, too.
Whatever will Maury do? (Other than quickly search for a new schtick to add to his smorgasbord of rotating segments, some of which include freakish diseases, out-of-control teens and, of course, people with bizarre phobias, such as a deathly fear of peaches or cotton balls. Oh, and don't forget my personal favorite, the Man or Woman? episodes, where the audience guesses if the guests are, in Maury's words, "Hot Spring Bunnies or Men Dressed as Honeys." The best part is when they show reaction shots of audience members who guessed wrong, like the guy in the front row who vehemently declared, "Now Maury, that's a woman." Only it wasn't.)
But I disgress...
Identigene, a self-described "leader in DNA identification testing," says its DNA Paternity Test Collection Kit was the first DNA test ever sold in retail stores when it was offered on a trial basis beginning November 2007 in California, Washington and Oregon. I'm guessing tests (pun intended) went well, because now the DNA Paternity Test Collection Kit is available for over-the-counter
purchase at all Rite Aid drugstores throughout the United States, with
the exception of stores in New York state (so there are some sane ones
left, huh?).
Here's how it works, according to the press release: "With an Identigene DNA Paternity Test Collection Kit, participants of the test collect a DNA sample by rubbing a swab inside their mouth. The samples, along with consent forms and a lab fee are sent in an enclosed postage-paid return envelope to Identigene for processing. Results are available from Identigene within three to five business days of receipt. Customers can choose to receive results by mail, email, or online through a secured Web service. All information remains strictly confidential."
Suggested retail price for an Identigene DNA Paternity Test Collection Kit--$29.99. Laboratory processing fee--$119. Knowing who the baby daddy is--priceless.
--Jessie Bove
Photo: Click the photo to see this guest's victory dance once he discovers that he is NOT the father! I guess the 11th time isn't the charm after all.

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