Have It Your Way

We are obsessed with speed. Despite annoying commercials late at night, we are urged to go to Finallyfast.com to speed up our laptops. You can download your favorite tune on your iPod faster than you can whistle Dixie. We e-mail and text colleagues, and wonder what’s taking them so long to get back to us--it’s been 30 seconds! It was only a matter of time before fast food met fast fashion.

Despite jubilation in the street post-election, the economy remains tight. While the world may have rejoiced, Wall Street did not see the bull market it was expecting. Retailers are trying to stay aloft. What will a holiday season in 2008 look like? Bricks-and-mortar retailers are already doing their earnest best to think outside the box. Equally hard hit are restaurants. Upscale- and moderate-food establishments report decreases in sales, where the fast-food chains appear to be solvent, and in fact picking up business, the way that transfats pick up calories.

Monolithic McDonald's rival Burger King announced, in an effort to further increase its brand awareness, various licensees of Burger King will soon launch a line of Burger King-branded T-shirts, an exclusive collection of men's sleepwear and loungewear, and government-operated and -authorized instant lottery tickets and (TBD) merchandise. So now you can buy your husband a cute set of Burger King flannels and a side of fries. Granted buying pajamas may not seem like a typical merchandise association for a fast-food chain, but they laughed at Starbucks when they started their own record label. Artists like Paul McCartney and Joni Mitchell had no issues debuting their albums alongside a grande pike roast with soy. Pajamas might do very well for Burger King, it may appeal to the couch potato set who want to order in, and snuggle up on the couch in their crown-encrusted twosies and watch “Dancing with the Stars” (I miss Cloris!). Additionally, the typical cash-strapped, fast-food consumer might be glad to drop a buck or two on the state lottery in the hopes of becoming a millionaire. Rest assured, the fantasy that you might win, that your ship will come in, that there’s always a silver lining, is worth a dollar in these tough times.

Russ Klein, (insert frightening job title) president of global marketing, strategy and innovation (how innovative can a Whopper be?) at Burger King, said: "Through our licensing relationships, Burger King has the opportunity to reach our audience through new channels. Through our licensees, Burger King-branded apparel and snack products provide our customers with new ways to interact and connect with the brand." Burger King has announced a series of licensing arrangements brokered by Broad Street Licensing Group. Unless Burger King is offering T-shirts in cashmere, there better not be one in my stocking on Dec. 24th.

--Ron Knoth, Guest Blogger

Comments

[Timothy Cohrs]

From a marketing perspective, Gap just looks old. In-store, its physical look screams '90s. Out of store, its revisiting and revisiting in one form or another of the successful "Individuals of Style" campaign from the '90s (cool b&w portraits of celebs and near-celebs by celeb photographers) just seems tired.

Trends change, shoppers change, Gap needs to change.