Rethinking Ebenezer Scrooge

"If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.”--Ebenezer Scrooge/Charles Dickens

The outerwear department at Macy’s is once again filled to the rafters despite the weather remaining a tepid mid-60s on the East Coast; it is a perpetual Indian summer. Yesterday, I sat in the park to get a little color on my cheeks and I do not, repeat do not, live in Beverly Hills, I live in NYC. I have not needed to take my winter coat out of moth balls, and Thanksgiving is just a few days away. That being said, you can break out the Stove Top Stuffing and sugar-free hot chocolate because you know what is just around the corner. Yes, Virginia… red bengaline tablecloths frame the boxed Starbucks 24-days-to-caffeine advent calendars. Praise the Lord & Taylors, their windows have gone dark to prepare for the animated displays by Spaeth. The mall has been Curriered & Ivesed to death, and I note that the Rockettes are dressed like a strand of pimped out vaudevillian Santas. “Bah Humbug!”

As for Christmas present, here’s the Scrooge point of view...Good Will and the Salvation Army report that holiday shopping is up 5 percent to 8 percent over last year, while donations have dropped by the comparable amount. By Feb.17, the nation is moving towards digitalized television broadcasting making our functional TV sets obsolete (at least without adapters). Cash-strapped Americans may need to sell their blood for a new 52-in. plasma--hey we call 'em plasma for a reason. Most dishearteningly, “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” may not make in onto prime time this year; networks can’t find the sponsors, hello Dolly Madison? Did I miss the memo that your Cherry Pies and Devils Food Cake with White Icing Zingers were discontinued? Granted, holiday muzak plays incessantly inside the stores marching us to the pre-holiday sales tables, expecting the economy would be stuck like a fat Santa in a condo chimney, retailers have already scaled back on quantities and are pushing lay-aways.

Now here’s the Bob Cratchit point of view...PayPal reduced its fees and asked about 20 retailers, including Toys "R" Us, Blue Nile and eToys, to beef up their cash-back promotions. Shoppers paying for online gifts with their PayPal accounts from Dec. 1 to Dec. 22 will receive up to 30 percent cash back (with a pre-set dollar limit) at checkout, which is up from 20 percent last year. Retailing partners are also offering free shipping more often, and extending it later in the season, for you last minute shoppers, but don’t expect overnight delivery! They’re grrreeeaaattt! Target is offering a $5 gift card with the purchase of five boxes of Kellogg's cereal--that’s still five boxes too many of Frosted Flakes for me. Despite what Edie Beale may have said, “It (fashion) can't be ordered from L.L. Bean. There's more to living than Kelly green,” L.L. Bean is offering $10 gift cards with every $50 or higher purchase through Dec. 24. The limit is one per day. The cards take about 10 business days to arrive, so plan early. Toys "R" Us is offering a $10 gift card for every $75 purchase. Look for this promotion to be repeated throughout the holidays.

“God Bless us one and all”--Tiny Tim/Charles Dickens

--Ron Knoth, Guest Blogger

Comments

[mkt]

nice you sat in the park enjoying our tepid weather, you get fresh air but no cheek reddening, at this time of year in NYC those rays that produce sun tanning bounce off the upper hemisphere due to the sun angle, no sun tans in winter up here - enjoy the air