Is Christmas Coming This Year?

  "Christmas Isn’t Coming This Year," is a 1966 cult classic film directed by actor, Rossano Brazzi, starring Paul Tripp (also the scriptwriter). The beloved Tripp was the host of “Birthday House,” a kid’s show where you could have your birthday on TV. (Which yes, my mother would not write a letter for me because she thought it was too ostentatious, no sour grapes!) On the face of it, it’s just a cheesy Italian film, poorly dubbed, but it used to air on TV, and became a holiday classic. The only thing the film is missing is Pia Zadora as a Martian child.
 
Practically ripped from today’s headlines, the film remains frightening apropos. Tripp plays Sam Whipple (no relation to Charmin), an attorney in Once-Upon-A-Time-Land (although I never thought of elves as being especially litigious), who is startled to receive a visit from Santa Claus shortly before Christmas. It seems that when Sam was a child, he wrote a letter thanking Santa for the presents he'd received, and offering to return the favor someday. (Sweet, I never sent a thank you!) Well, that day is now! A mean old landlord named Phineas Prune, who holds the deed to the North Pole, is demanding the back rent. (Santa a deadbeat? Note to Santa, refinance!) Otherwise, Prune is going to evict Santa, Mrs. Claus and the jolly elves to the curb, and take all the Christmas toys as collateral. A despondent Santa confides to Whipple that, “It looks like Christmas isn’t coming this year.” Face facts, in December Santa is cash poor. Quicker than you can say Fannie Mae, Whipple takes matter into his hands and just in the (saint) nick of time.
 
Well, across America there are eerily similar stories being played out, not just by homeowners, but especially by retailers who overbuilt stores, and some in locations where they knew there was inadequate business to sustain them. They too are being kicked to the curb. With easy financing, high interest rates and loans approved without due diligence, it was a real estate free for all. Now we’re paying the price.
 
Complicating matters, more people are making their purchases online, rather than standing in line. With the frantic 911 response to last holiday's dismal sales, retailers spoiled us with doorbusters, giveaways and insanely reduced prices creating a discount mania--if it wasn’t marked down 80 percent, customers walked away. Other customers quickly learned to buy late, and buy cheep. Post-holiday season, customers realized that they could get by with less, and that another gray cashmere sweater wasn’t a priority.
 
Anticipating this trend, retailers are starting the holiday season sooner. Traditionally in the United States, Christmas officially started the day after Thanksgiving. Customers will complain that Christmas is coming too early, and that it’s a turn-off. Personally, I love it. By the way, in Europe, where there is no Thanksgiving, retailers starting installing Christmas ages ago. (FYI: Here’s a historical factoid, in the United States, Thanksgiving traditionally fell the last Thursday of November, by proclamation of Abraham Lincoln. Retailers in 1939 asked President Roosevelt to move it up a week to extend the buying season during the Great Depression to help beef up sales, and there it has remained.)
 

Personally, without being too Jerry Hermanish, I think “We Need A Little Christmas.” What harm comes from some bright red bengaline, a holiday bough, some flickering B lights and some suggestion of hearth and home? Holiday time is about giving, not buying. Retailers are doing their best to give us a great holiday experience, let’s not be Scrooges. Christmas is coming this year!

--Ron Knoth, Guest Blogger

Comments

[hardliner]

You're right for the second time, it was Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, not vs. them. Heck, I even own it on DVD (picked up on clearance for a buck from the aptly named chain "half priced books". I guess I'll have to blow the dust off of it and look for her. Looking forward to checking out your site.

[Ron Knoth]

Dear Hardliner,

I was just being facetious. Indeed, The glorious Ms. Zadora was in "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians". To read about that go to my site www.thebespokenfor.net.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Ron

[hardliner]

Ok Ron,
you stumped me with this one, or were you just being facetious? Pia Zadora as a Martian child? Do I just not remember her in Santa Claus vs. the Martians, or was there another film that I'm forgetting? Keep 'em coming.

[Phil Wrzesinski]

Not to burst the online bubble, but according to the US Census report for 2008, online sales only accounted for 3.3% of all retail transactions.

That's a lot of brick & mortar sales still going on.